Katie and I went to Wal-Mart today to buy groceries. I walked down the aisle containing the pickles and such, and encountered about an 18 year old girl shopping with her mother and younger sister. I had to get something from the aisle, so I had to wait on them to move. While standing there, I listened to the 18 year old.
She picked up a pickle jar and said "I want these pickles, but I don't like this packaging. It's so......" and she trailed off.
OK, what the fuck? She didn't have a problem with the paper and the design on the paper on the glass jar. But what she did have a problem with was the glass jar. Umm.....OK. Do all pickles not come in glass jars? Is that not a standard practice? Also, isn't that how pickles are made? Don't you have to use a glass jar to seal cucumbers in and pickle them? What a dumbshit.
But now to deal with the title of this portion of the entry. I had to buy toilet paper today, since I will be running low fairly soon and I don't enjoy wiping my ass with newspaper. That just makes the paper all crinkly, brown, and hard to read.
Well, I grabbed a 24 pack of butt-wipers and threw them in my cart. As I pushed my cart through the store, I felt like I had eyes on me non-stop. Seriously people, have you never seen anyone purchase toilet paper? It seemed like they were all thinking stuff like:
"Oh my God, how gross. I bet he wipes his butt with it!" (I believe that is the purpose of it)
"Wow, that's a lot of toilet paper. He must have some nasty, wet, chunky diarrhea!" (It's easier to buy more at once, numbskull)
"Maybe he is going to use it to vandalize a house. He looks shifty and punkish." (OK, just because I was wearing a Sugarcult shirt- you can kiss my ass. And maybe I will TP a house....yours, bitch!!!)
"Ha ha toilet paper! He's buying toilet paper! *Giggle*" (At least I have the money to buy toilet paper, you cheap ass redneck).
Maybe I was just imagining things, but I swear people were really noticing the fact that I was buying toilet paper. Is it that abnormal? Should I feel weird buying it? I mean, I would feel weird if I was buying a PleasureMaster UltraVibe Rocket 6000, extra anal lube, a box of tissues, and some Peeps. But toilet paper is an everyday purchase. Everyone pisses, everyone shits, everyone uses toilet paper. 'Nuff said.
Current noise: the Food Network on my TV
For the Superbowl, my roomie, Katie, and my roomie's girlfriend (also named Katie), and I had a Superbowl party. We made enough food for 20 people and guess how many showed up? 5 total. Four of them were the previously mentioned, including myself. Goddamnit. What bullshit. Well, at least we had plenty of food....that's always a positive from my point of view. Can't go wrong there, unless it's bland, crappy, and/or fishy. Then it's nasty crap.
And at least the Steelers covered the spread. Had those suckers bet. Whew. Was worried for a while in the start of the game, a little less in the end. ;)Cooking
So lately, I have been trying to make a conscious effort to cook better and new things. To not get stuck in the same rut of Totino's pizza (even though they are frickin' awesome- seriously, can you beat a 94 cent pizza?). Whenever I am bored in class or I have the inspiration, I look up recipes on the Internet for dishes. Here's my favorite cooking website, or at least the one that has held the best luck for me:
I have made homemade Sloppy Joes (with homemade sauce), mandarin chicken, and chili verde (actually that was a family recipe, not on the website). I have to say that cooking good food is very satisfying beyond the taste. It evokes a sense of pride and accomplishment. But maybe I just love and worship food too much anyways. Ah well. I just hope I never lose my high metabolism, because I will be 345,698 pounds if I do and you will be watching a TLC show about the 345,698 pound boy.
Oh, and by the way, if you have the time, shop for Andes mints baking chips. Damn, those make some good cookies.
Due to Katie's class schedule and a simple lack of enthusiasm about Hallmark Day (I mean, Valentine's Day), we're not doing much for it. And by much, I mean nada. We went out to eat last Friday and gave small gifts then. And it also lands on a Tuesday, which is not conducive to a great V-Day anyways. Ah well. Maybe next year. I feel bad not doing much, but I hope showing my affection every day is better than just doing it one day out of the year.
Wild'N'Out is Ghey Too
OK, I hate that show. Seriously. It's not funny. NOT FUNNY. At all. Why is it still on? All it consists of is some semi-successful rappers standing around, shouting into mics, while all the others watch and do the following:
-Place one hand on waist, preferably on the belt buckle.
-Lift other hand up in the air above the head, then return to the mouth.
-Shout "OOOOOOO" and then proceed to laugh hysterically at a pointless and unfunny "joke."
-Repeat for the next pathetic excuse of a human.
Please, MTV, please cancel that shit.
I now weigh 158 pounds. Yes, it's true. No exaggeration or falseness. I have been working out a lot lately, Katie can attest to that. I have trimmed some fat off and added some muscle (muscle is adding the weight since it is more dense than adipose- fat- tissue). I now weigh at least 25 pounds more than I did in high school, probably closer to 30 more.
My kitty has been getting into trouble while I have been gone. She has somehow worked her way into the box springs of my parent's mattress. I don't know how she gets her fat butt in there, but she manages. And I guess my parents barricade it off, so my kitty gets pissed off and rips up boxes. Then, when my folks go to work, they close their bedroom door and she howls. Haha. What a pissed off kitten.
She loves to be petted non-stop, according to my pops. She follows him around, expecting to be petted all the time. :)
Pharmacy Dork Drama
There is a shithead in class named Russ. No one likes him and he shaves his sideburns at an angle. What else can be said? He's a a pathetic little man. He's also a contentious prick.
Well, one day last week, he was sitting in the back row per usual, and then shouted in the middle of a lecture "Hey, could you guys shut up? I can't hear Dr. Lai and I would like to."
Another kid across the room shouted back to the douchebag "Wow, Russ! You're awake for once."
The entire class laughed at the dick. Seriously, he sits in the back row and sleeps every day. What was he thinking there? God. He also loves to show how wonderfully smart he is by interrupting teachers to ask pointless questions and by trying to ask student presenters hard questions, then asking if they want hints (since he is so great and already knows the answers, he should help us out, you know? bastard). I don't know if there is a person in the class that doesn't want to throttle him. I'd be first in line.
Pharmacy Spaghetti Feed
There is an annual charity event for a local charity (funny how that works) and the pharmacy student organizations run by the School of Pharmacy. It's called the Spaghetti Feed. Usually, it raises about $6,000. Due to a low turnout and low auction bidding, we only raised $3,000. Our dean actually had the audacity to come into class and berate us for not raising enough money. Here's what I have against that:
-I pay enough for the School of Pharmacy to put a little money into the student organizations. Seriously. Greedy fuckers.
-You don't berate us for not bidding and not showing up when you yourself aren't there to bid. Ummm.....that's hypocritical, you bald meanie.
-The admin and staff are some of the highest paid on campus.....yeah.....that's not hypocritical, yet again.
-The staff gave a worthless teacher tenure when they needed to fire her. That was a great allocation....er....waste of money.
Some Good Ole Republican Sentiment For You
My dad sent me this email (quotes by Andy Rooney) and I agree with most of it- but I think alot of it is kinda funny anyways-
"I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.
Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?
I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.
I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.
When 70% of the people who get arrested are black in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.
I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!
My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.
I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry a-- if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.
I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.
We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.
I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.
It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"
I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!
I am sick of "Political Correctness."
I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else And if you don't like my point of view, tough...
I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND TO THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!
It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a problem in having "In God We Trust" on our money and having "God" in the Pledge of Allegiance. Why don't we just tell the 14% to Shut Up and BE QUIET!!!"
My dad sent me another email with a joke about we are all Republicans at heart to a degree, yet most people will never admit it-
"A girl attended college for several years and developed her own views about the world. She hated Republicans, loved trees and her fellow man. She was greatly ashamed of her father, a great businessman and staunch conservative. She did her best in school, snagging a 4.0 GPA every semester and working hard to earn every A.
Going home one break, she asked her father a question.
"I have a friend who insists on partying all the time and loves to slack in school. But she won't be able to make it into her desired program because of her 2.0 GPA. What can I do to help her?"
Her father smiled and said "Well, why don't you donate a GPA point to her? That would give you each a 3.0."
"WHAT?!? Why would I do that? I have worked hard for my GPA and she has slacked off. Why does she deserve something for nothing?!?" the daughter exclaimed.
"Welcome to the Republican Party." stated the father.
Current music: Cary Judd- "Looking Back From Space" - saw this guy here at ISU and have since then acquired all his CDs, he's kind of like John Mayer, but does all his own drumming, guitar work, and such at once (using foot pedals and looped recorders)